2008: GRADING YOUR ESSAYS

INTRODUCTION (2ms)
- Background, hook (1)
- Thesis statement (1)
BODY (6ms)
- Good ideas (2)
- Coherence, unity, development (2)
- Language: Grammar, vocabulary (2)
CONCLUSION (2ms)
- Summarize (1)
- Lesson, suggestions (1)

2008 - Record 1

Name                        Introduction                    Outline

Doan Xuan Bao:            9                                       7

Minh Nguyet        `      7.5                                     8.5

Phuong Nam               7.0                                      8

Le Thi Lan Anh            8                                         5

Mai Lien                        8                                         8

Le Ha                              7                                         6

Truc Quyen                 8.5                                     8

Tran Hoang An            RW                                   7             

Hong Thuong                 9                                  8.5

Vong Minh Thuy          7                                  8.5

Khanh Duy                      9.5                               8

Hue Minh                       RW                               8

Diem Huong                   9                                 9.5

Nguyen Hien                RW                                6

Nguyen Thi Ngoc Nga    8.5                           8

Ngoc Linh                            7.5                          7.5

Dinh Thi Huong                 RW                         RW

Nguyen Thi Ha                   8.5                          8

Nguyen Thi Mai                  5.5                          5

Truong Tuong Vi                 8.5                          6

Lan Huong                             8                              9

 TOPPAGES

Diem Huong

* Outline:
1. Introduction:
Each of us desires to live a clean environment. But in fact, everything doesn't always come true as people's hopes. Nowadays, with the development of science and technology, people's lives have been improved and have many positive changes. However, they also have to face one unexpected issue. It is pollution. This is a really big problem because of its effects.
2. Body paragraph:
- pollution causes effects in near future
+ because of throwing garbage carelessly, nylon,plastic bags, and papers are full of a lot of places: market, streets, parks,.. Beautiful places are turned into the rubbish grounds.
+ make nasty smell for people acrossing and living there.
+ smoke from vehicles, factories,..so we don't have fresh air to breathe, and even effects people's health.
+ the sewerage is filled up by garbage, so rain water is blocked and unable to drain quickly. It is easy to cause floods.
- pollution also affects farther future:
+ since the beginning of the Industrial Revolution in mid-1700s, human activities have added more and more greenhouse gases (CO2,..) into atmosphere.
+ temperature on the Earth is increasing by 0,1 degree every ten years.
+ the Artcic and Antarctic ice caps will slowly smelt, the levels of the oceans will rise, causing floods in many low parts of the world.
+ climate change, some areas will become wetter while others will be dryer.
+ some areas which today are green and fertile will turn into deserts.
+ some diseases like malaria, fever,... will be common in areas where today they aren't known yet.
3. Conclusion:
Pollution is a problem being worth concerning, as its effects people's lives a lot in the present, and the future time. We must realize the importance of environment, have specific actions to protect our natural environment, and keep our Earth green.

Khanh Duy

My Dream

Introduction

Everybody has their own dream. When I was a boy, I wished to be a pilot. I believed that I could fly to discover the world. It was not only my dream but also my hobby. I collected many toys of plane. I often made paper planes and threw it into the air from a very high place. I love everything in the sky such as the sun, the clouds, the moon and the stars, etc…I would touch the sky someday if I were a pilot. But now, I am a mature, I realize that the dream in my childhood is just an childish idea. When I know more about myself, my real ability, I decide to become an English teacher and I’ll try my best to make this dream come true.

Lan Huong

It's said that Da Lat is the paradise of Viet Nam.
2.Body paragraphs:
Paragraph 1:
-topic sentence:Da Lat has an ideal environment.
-supporting sentence:
.Fresh air:good for your health.Especially in the morning, when walking along the streets in the city, visitors can enjoy it.
.a peaceful place: because there doesn't has any industrial center ,you don't have to suffer from noisy sounds ,industrial gabage and air polution.
.cool weather like autumn:help visitors feel comfortable and make the city become a romantic place for couples.
Paragraph 2:
-Topic sentence:Da Lat has a lot of famous and beutiful scenes:
-Supporting sentence:
.Flower Park: has many kinds of strage and vivid flower such as:orchids, tulips daisy....
.Xuan Huong Lake: is considered as a symbol of Da Lat because it locates at the center of city
.Lanbiang Mountain : a high mountain with some ethnic groups live there. It's always covered in thick blanket of fog.
3. Conclusion:
No one can deny that Da Lat city is a masterpiece of nature and a pride of Vietnamese.So what a pity if you don't visit Da Lat to relax and enjoy the beauty of nature with your friends and your families.

Hong Thuong

Friendship

“One day, if you want to cry, please call me. I am not sure that I can make you feel better but I will cry with you. One day, if you want to run away, please call me. I will not stop you, I will run with you. One day, if you don’t want to listen to anyone, please call me. I will come with you and say nothing. One day, you call me but I don’t answer you, please come with me because I need you at that time.” This is the speech which I like best. The friendship in this speech is so beautiful. Friendship make your life is full of colors: green as hope, red as enthuse, pink as happiness, purple as faithfulness, white as honest and a little yellow as worry. If your life has no friendship, your life is only black as aloneness, cold and cheerfulness. Friendship is a wonderful present for your life although sometimes it is not easy to realize this present.

Xuan Bao

True Martial Arts

Introduction:
When I was a fifth grade student, I just thought that learning martial arts is to fight or attack other people. At that time, I always wanted to pick a quarrel with my friends so that I could prove that I was good at martial arts. Once I attacked a newcomer boy in my class just because I didn’t like his face, I punched a lot in his face and made his nose bleed. However, surprisingly, he didn’t want to strike back, that boy just wanted to accept failure with resignation. After school, I went home as usual but on the way going home, I was intercepted on the way by three strong hooligans, they all were my victimizer’s brothers and they wanted to take revenge of me. So, I had got a free-for-all fight, at that time I couldn’t do anything except I was driven to dead end. Luckily and surprisingly, I was rescued by the newcomer boy who was attacked by me that morning. After that, I felt ashamed of attacking that boy before. Then I made up my mind to change my opinion about martial arts that: “True martial arts is like philosophy, we learn martial arts to sacrifice and save the human life”. So, learning true martial arts is something useful for our life, it’s make us become more gentle and righteous little by little for several reasons.

Commenting your peers'

TO: 2008 INTAKE



Dear my beloved students,
This is the criteria and the grades that you might need to give comments on your classmates' writings.

Grades

A+: Outstanding (91 - 100%); A: Excellent (80 -90%),


B( 60 - 79%) , C (50 - 59%) , D (under 50%)

Criteria

I. Paragraph level (body paragraphs)


1. Grammar:


2. Vocabulary:


3. Development:


4. Ideas:


5. Unity, coherence:


II. Essay level


1. Introductory paragraph:


a. Thesis statement:


b. Ways of developing


2. Development ( How do the body paragraphs develop the controlling ideas stated in the thesis statement?)


3. Connection among the paragraphs ( how?)


a. Between the introduction and the others


b. Among the body paragraphs